☆ j u b i l e e 。 (calavasas) wrote,
☆ j u b i l e e 。
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☆ [Hetalia Fanfic]: They're Unique, Not Weird - Big Brothers

Title: They're Unique, Not Weird
Author: Jubilee
Characters/Pairings: OC, Most nations
Rating: T+
Genre: Crack + Humor + Family
Note: Complete crack and it was inspired by a DeviantART meme. Also, it's an AU.
Summary: Hello. The name's Kim and I come from a strange family. I wasn't brought up like a normal child. Nope, my story is a bit different. How is it different? Well how many kids do you know have family members from different parts of the world?
Posted at: calavasas + estorias

Chapters: Intro | Big Brothers | Parents | Uncles | Aunts



Chapter 2: My Big Bros

Like I had said before, I have three older brothers: Aksel, Yong Soo, and Feli. They're not that far apart in age though. Aksel is two years older than Yong Soo, and Yong Soo is two years older than Feli. But I of course am much younger than they. When I was born, Aksel was about ten, Yong Soo was about eight, and Feli was about six. So…I'm six years younger than Feli, eight years younger than Yong Soo, and ten years younger than Aksel…I think. Math always was my worst subject. Anyway, guess I should tell you a bit about my brothers.

Aksel Jones

Aksel is the athletic and oldest brother. He's the tallest out of them all needless to say. He likes to play soccer, but he's tried football before since he has the body frame for it. He's very boisterous like my dad and just as loud as him too. He likes drinking as well. I don't know why, he just does. He never picks on me since dad told all of my brothers to treat me nicely and protect me since I'm the only girl in the family though Aksel took it to an extreme at one point when I told some kid in my school to leave me alone. Aksel thought he was trying to do something funny, so he grabbed him and put him in a trashcan and rolled it down a hill. Oh my God I was screaming and I ran after the trashcan! I mean yeah the guy was a creeper but my goodness! He also liked to buy me toys when I was small. I think he has a thing for them or something…

Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut…

Kimiko walked into the living room and threw her backpack on the floor. She sat down on the couch and sighed, looking at the television screen. It was off.

"Hey Kim!" Aksel said as he walked in from the kitchen. He had a soda in his hand. "Why so glum?"

"Gah, there's this kid at my school who won't leave me alone even though I've told him various times to give me my personal space…"

"Really?"

"Yeah…"

Aksel remembered something that he had discovered about his sister. He remembered that she had grown in an area where she needed to buy a bigger size of clothing. "So…this kid…has he talked to you before?"

"Uhm…come to think of it, no. He barely started talking to me last month to be honest. I don't know why. He's obnoxious which I guess is the reason why I haven't talked to him before. I kinda kept my distance from him."

"Oh, I see." He looked at his shoes. "So…do you have a ride home from school tomorrow?"

"I always walk."

"Well it's hot now since summer's getting close and all, so I figured that you might want a ride in a car with the AC. I'll pick you up tomorrow okay?"

"But Aksel-"

"No buts! I'm picking you up tomorrow!"

"Oh…fine I guess…"

So Kimiko went to school the next day, and the same obnoxious kid kept following her.

"Look, leave me alone already!"

"Aww, come on, why won't you talk to me?"

"Because I still can't forget that time you put gum in my hair you jerk!"

"I said I was sorry."

"No you didn't! I had to get a haircut because it wouldn't come off! Get lost!" Kimiko threw some paper away in a trashcan.

"Oh don't be like that Kim!" he said as he grabbed her wrist. She looked at him in surprise. Nobody had ever grabbed her so quickly like that.

"Let go."

"Not until you listen to me."

"I think you're the one that needs to listen."

Kimiko and the boy turned around. The girl gasped. "Aksel!"

He was leaning against his car. "I stopped in front of the school but I didn't find you there, so I drove on the route you take home." He walked up to them. "Now listen buddy, let her go."

"And who the heck are you?"

Aksel crossed his arms and gave a mischievous grin. "I'm her big brother."

The color practically drained from the boy's face. "You…you are…?"

"Yep. Now, let go of my little sis."

The boy slowly released his hand from Kimiko's wrist. Aksel then told Kim, "Get in the car. We're going home."

"Oh, okay then." She began to walk towards the car when she heard a shriek. She turned around and saw that Aksel had dumped the boy in the trashcan. "AKSEL!"

"Hey, get me out of here!" cried the boy.

"Nobody messes with my little sister and gets away with it! Especially guys like you!" He grabbed the trashcan and rolled it down the hill Kimiko usually took to get home. The girl screamed.

"OH MY GOD!" She ran after the trashcan even though its speed was a lot faster than hers.

"Hey Kim! Come on! It's not a good idea to stick around when that guy crashes into a light post or something!"

Present

Aksel had to chase after me and drag me to the car before the creeper could come to his senses. I'm so glad he didn't tell anybody! Or maybe he hit his head so hard that he forgot what happened…

Yong Soo Jones

Yong Soo is the always-seems-to-be-in-your-face and middle brother. I don't hate him, though he really needs to learn what "personal space" means. He's the brother who enjoys playing video games with me and watching anime as well as reading manga. Aksel and Feli aren't really into things like that. Yong Soo is also surprisingly muscular, much to the astonishment of my mom. Of course, he isn't as strong as dad, because nobody is stronger than my dad, but he's…half-way there. Yong Soo always accompanies me to anime conventions when they come up so that way I don't go alone. We cosplay together and have been dubbed "The Con Sibs" by a few convention goers. Yong Soo also has a habit of saying that everything properly made is from Korea, and that practically everything originated from there, even thought itself. I don't know why he says this…I really don't. He's also a very touchy-feely kind of person, which my mom scolds him constantly for.

Maybe he was just super proud to be Korean or something…

Kimiko and her brother Yong Soo were in the bathroom, trying to fix up their cosplay.

"Hold still Kim!"

"But this tag itches in the back!"

"Well I'm trying to take it off but you keep moving! Wow, this stitching is good! But then again, it was made in Korea so of course it'd be strong!"

Yong Soo was able to rip off the tag, but he also ripped the back of the costume. Kimiko sighed. "The convention is tomorrow and my costume is ripped…again…" Kimiko looked at her brother through the mirror. "I thought you said this costume was strong because it was made in Korea."

"No…no…I misread the tag. Must be a typo. It was probably made in China or something."

Kimiko sighed and face-palmed. "Well anyway, I need to take it off so mom can sew it back together." The girl took off the top of her costume. She was glad she had decided to wear an undershirt beneath it.

"Damn Kim! That's why it ripped! It didn't fit because it couldn't support your boobs!"

"Will you stop staring at them? You seem to be fixated on boobs!"

"But they look so soft! Can I touch them?"

"WHAT THE HELL? No you cannot!" She crossed her arms over her chest as she blushed. "Go do it to somebody else!"

"But the person I usually do that to isn't here! So…because of this…" From behind he grabbed her bosom with both of his hands. "You're gonna have to do ~ !"

A few moments later, Alfred had to take Yong Soo to the hospital and Aksel was busy looking through a catalog of new mirrors from the Home Depot. Kiku meanwhile cleaned up the broken shards of glass and spots of blood on the bathroom floor. The two siblings missed the anime convention that year.

Present

I think Yong Soo needs help. I mean…this whole obsession with breasts can't be healthy for a person. I think he might be a bit incestuous, and not with just me either. My brothers seem to be victims to him too, mostly Feli since he's kind of a pushover. Oh Feli…

Feliciano Jones

Feliciano is the effeminate and youngest brother. I mean, not that he's gay or anything (though people who don't know him will think this) but he can come off as that on first impression. What usually proves people wrong is his ability to woo the girls and even date a lot of the ones he meets. He's a lothario in a way, but not really, if that makes sense. He's also the cute brother in my family. He helps my mom out around the house a lot, like with cooking and cleaning. Feli is a GREAT cook. Oh my God the Italian food he makes is delicious. He also makes clothes, which is where a lot of my baby outfits came from. Yes, he was even talented at the age of six. He's the one who repairs my clothes when they get too small or they're too big or they got ripped because I was climbing a tree and fell because I was attempting to get the eggs from the bird's nest. I'm clumsy, another trait I got from dad. Feli is also very affectionate and would like carrying me around when I was a baby. The only bad thing about him is that he's very naïve and a pushover…also a bit of a coward. He runs away at the first sign of danger…

Despite his cowardice, he's probably my favorite brother…

"So Kimi! We have the house to ourselves! What do you want me to make for you?"

"Uhm…pasta!"

Feliciano laughed. "Okay, but what kind?"

"Whichever you want Feli! I love everything you cook."

"Oh thank you! Let's see…what can I make for Kimi today?"

Kimiko watched her brother cook from the island in the kitchen. She swung her legs back and forth from one of the island stools as she hummed to herself. She was wearing a new summer dress Feliciano had made for her. It was yellow with a sunflower design towards the bottom corner. Kiku had practically squealed when he saw his daughter dressed that way (which scared the crap out of Aksel and the rest of the family) and forced her to wear pigtails so he could take a picture of her.

The girl began to smell the delicious food her big brother was making for her. By now she knew when the food was almost done, so she began to set two plates and utensils on the island so she and Feliciano could eat.

"Okay, I'm finished!" chimed Feliciano. He grabbed one of the plates Kimiko had set out and put the food on it, then set it down in front of her.

She inhaled its scent heartily. "Mmm! Fettuccine alfredo! Feli, I love this!"

"I know you do! That's why I made it ~"

He served himself and got them some bread to eat along with the pasta. Because Kimiko wasn't old enough to drink wine yet, he served them both cranberry juice. He figured that might be the closest thing to wine.

"Mmmmm!" Kimiko said as she swallowed the first bite. "Feli! This food is delicious! I wish I could cook like you!"

Feliciano smiled. "Oh thank you Kimi! And don't worry, you'll get good and cooking too! I can start teaching you if you want."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"Okay!" She ate some of her bread. "Thank you Feli for always looking after me. I love you a lot and don't forget it okay!"

Feliciano sniffed. "Kimi! You're gonna make me cry! Oh, I love you too!" He got up from his seat and walked around the island to hug her. She cuddled against him and he kissed the top of her head.

He stroked her hair and that's when he noticed something crawling from the side of the island. His eyes went wide. "UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"What is it? Why are you screaming?"

"A SPIDER!"

Kimiko looked to where he was pointing and she joined him. "A SPIDER! KILL IT FELI!"

"BUT WHAT IF IT JUMPS?"

"SPIDERS DON'T JUMP!"

"S-SOME DO, I THINK! AND SOME ARE POISONOUS!"

The two siblings stood away from the kitchen and waited until Aksel or another family member returned home. Their pasta got cold that day.

Present

If Feli wasn't such a crybaby and a coward, he really would be the perfect older brother. But alas…this isn't true. Oh well. Beggars can't be choosers. At least he acts like a substitute mom when my real mom isn't home.

Though my brothers have some very irritating faults, I really do love all three of them, and I couldn't have asked for better brothers. Though I'm starting to wonder when they're gonna get their own house. I mean for Pete's sake they're in college already! Shouldn't they have moved out by now?

Oh, here I am talking about my brothers and I haven't even talked much about mom and dad. Hmm. I probably should have started out with them first. Whoops…

-----

Yeah...my big bros... I think I would enjoy having an older brother like Feliciano though. XD

Aksel (Denmark) = Oldest big brother
Yong Soo (S. Korea) = Middle big brother
Feliciano (N. Italy) = Youngest big brother
Tags: !fanfic: hetalia family, !fanfiction, !meme, crack, hetalia
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